When Life Gets in the Way

I maneuvered through all my email addresses and social media sites today and chuckled at the number of friends who are "thrown off their square" when their team doesn't win or their favorite NASCAR driver is "behind on the turn". It's not that I don't enjoy a great game or other type of event but, the fervor and height of anger I see with all the %#@'s in these posts I have to step back and pause for thought. Life just 'gets in the way' sometimes doesn't it? We postpone an evening out because the baby gets a fever...we don't get home until late because the interstate was a parking lot...couldn't make the kids soccer game because of a deadline at work. All just part of life but all a part of our lives that can change a smile to a frown in a New York minute.

Sat. nite I attended a benefit for a soldier who lost his life when an IED exploded near his vehicle in Afghanistan in July 2010. Watching the calm reserve of the wife, the young son and the parents of this US Army 1st Sgt. it brought my day and my petty annoyances of when "life gets in the way" to a more life altering perspective. I'd forgotten how I felt when I returned home in 199o to a note on the kitchen table that said "If you are reading this I'm already gone. I don't know when I'll be back...give the girls a hug...I love you...Bryan. PS Get my car from the Corps parking lot." 9 mos later my husband returned from Desert Storm. He returned safe and our lives just pickup up and we carried on. Not so for the family I met Sat. night. Their world may carry on but things will never be the same because for their service member "life got in the way".

As we watch our football games and attend our NASCAR races sure, it's more than alright to be upset if our team or driver doesn't win but, let's talk more about the things that truly make a difference for our friends and family when "life TRULY gets in the way". When you see a service member or know of a family who has someone serving in the military, please say thanks. When service members deploy and crisis strikes at home whether it's financial, physical or emotional, the impact on the family can be devastating. Not only has 'life gotten in the way" but the families at home are enduring the crisis "one member down" and that's when Operation Homefront steps in.

Life got in the way for a Navy family who's pay decreased $572 this mid-month pay between a COLA change and the deployed member expenses kicked in after sea duty. Their bills didn't decrease along with their pay and food on the table was going to be a problem. Life also got in the way for a wounded warrior whose VA disability hadn't been determined or awarded yet and the family is living on less than $1200 a month while on the Temporary Disablity Retired List.

If you want to know more about how you can help families like these who need support when Life Gets in the Way, contact hamptonroads@operationhomefront.net.

When it seems like you have no where to turn...

Have you every just had "one of those days"? You know what I mean, one of those days when you wish you could just get your family off to work or school, let the dog out back to do her business and then crawl back into bed and pull the comforter snuggly around your neck for the rest of the day. Believe me, I've been there. I know how it feels to want to pull back and just burrow where it feels comfortable. I know how hard it seems to be when your service member is deployed and when you feel as if everything is caving in around you. What I say to you is "knowledge is power". Knowing where you can go for help whether it's emotional or financial can make all the difference in your perspective. Operation Homefront Hampton Roads meets families every day who feel as if they want to crawl back in bed and pull a Scarlet O'Hara and just "think about it tomorrow". Sometimes we can't let it go...we have to act. Amy and her family knew they had to act when they had to move from government housing with 30 days notice. She knew when she needed to pay rent and utilities plus food for her family of 6 it was going to be a stretch since housing had already taken their rent for the month. Her husband's VA rating had not been established and they were living on $1300 per month. Amy knew where to turn and Operation Homefront was there to help her. Her knowledge of our organization and what we are able to provide for military families gave her power...it gave her the power to take control of her needs before they completely overwhelmed her and her family to the point where she just crawled back into her bed with the comforter pulled tightly over her head. Share the knowledge and throw back that comforter and enjoy your days...one day at a time. For more information on what we do for our military families visit www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads .

Always things to share...

We are a sharing community of people who for the most part go out of their ways to assist when someone is in need. That can be the sharing of a hug, a smile, a dollar or two for a latte' or even going that extra mile to give deeper from the heart or the pocket. N.H. was one of our clients this past week who needed some sharing. Major car repairs have hit the family hard these past few months and they've become behind in their bills. One car is two months behind in payments and ready to be reposessed. The family has been struggling due to medical issues Mom has endured to include surgery and chemo. Life has been difficult but they continue to share a positive attitude. One need we were able to support was in the are of furnishings. With no toddler beds or furnishings for their 3 year old twin boys, when N.H. heard we had beds and other furnishings she was thrilled. Their two vehicles drove away with 2 toddler beds, a dresser, 2 night stands, 2 TV's and a lighted ceiling fan to fill a home which had gone without for their two young boys. Operation Homefront could not have shared with this family had our community not shared with us. It is through the generous donations of cash and furnishings that our chapter can help...can share...and can bring a smile to the face of someone who needs one...To learn more about how you can help please visit our website at www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads or email hamptonroads@operationhomefront.net .

Operation Back to School

Operation Back to School is "underway". Today, military families can visit our website and register to receive a backpack filled with school supplies. As a military family member of 20 years with 2 children in school, I knew how families struggle to purchase the myriad of supplies children need for school in the fall. Operation Homefront understands that need and has partnered with Dollar Tree stores around the nation to collect school supplies for this exact purpose. Donation backpacks are still needed to meet the huge need here in our community. To learn more visit www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads .

Backing up the Front with Food

Have you ever wondered where your next meal will come from or how you're going to buy groceries when your budget is strained to the max. I think we've all been there...at least I have. For our military families, times are often tough and the toughest it seems when service members are deployed. You can make a difference by attending the Farm Bureau of VA Open House on Friday, May 7th at 1215R George Washington Highway, Yorktown, VA and donating a non-perishable food item for the Food Pantry. These items are used to provide emergency food assistance to military families "caught in that crunch" between pay periods where just a little help is needed. If you're not in our area but would like to help, please visit www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads and make a donation online. A recurring donation of $10 per month supports the cost of one emergency food voucher for a military family in crisis. When you set your next meal on your table at home think about those who may not be able to do the same! It happens...help us help them by Backing Up the Front.

Another day in paradise...

I always prefer to wake to a sunny morning where I can hear the birds chirping and when I open the door to let my dog out, there's a light dew on the grass, inviting new growth to all those things that bloom in the spring. I am blessed that this is what I am able to see most mornings because I live in a country where my freedom is secured for me. Where I don't worry about landmines, scuds or incoming attacks of any kind. I am also blessed that our US Military are there fighting for my freedom and it is they who stand in harms way to keep me safe.

As these brave men and women serve and sacrifice around the world I wake every morning concerned about their spouses and children who wait behind hoping and praying that they will return safe and sound. These families endure untold hardships each and every time their service member deploys. Imagine 6 mos or more each time there is a deployment. Think about what the family goes through on both sides of the ocean. The family here at home struggling with bills and lifes challenges with an integral member of their family absent. Consider the children and their life with one parent gone for large periods of their life...missing the milestones they reach each and every day in school, in sports, in their activities and just missing that extra hug before bed or the smile across the dinner table. The service member overseas worries about the family and thinks who will be there if something goes wrong...who will fix the car when it won't start? Where will the money come from if the bills get too high? Whose going to help my wife move when our lease is up and we have to move?

Operation Homefront Hampton Roads like other Operation Homefront chapters across the nation see this need for our military families and provides programs and services which can help in times of crisis. In order to do that we need support. If you know of anyone who would like to help us help those who keep us free, visit our chapter at www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads or call 757-806-6150. "We'll be here as long as they are over there"! Help us help!

A weekend in the life

It was a weekend of fun while Operation Homefront Hampton Roads volunteers and staff spent time with Patriots and Veterans at the VA Beach Bike Classic...An annual event, the weekend was filled with activities, vendors, concerts and a wonderful opportunity to hear stories from many of our service veterans. It was refreshing to feel the patriotic theme throughout the weekends activities and the opportunity to share what Operation Homefront does for our service members. The most prevalent comment we heard over and over was "we wish Operation Homefront had been around when we were in the service." Well, we're here now and we provide services and activities which support the emergency and morale needs of our troops, the families they leave behind and wounded warriors when they return home. If you'd like to find out how you can help our military members and their families left behind, please visit our website at www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads .

Another Day in the Life

Isn't it refreshing to know that people helping people still occurs in our lives as harried and busy as our lives can become? We got a call this week about wounded warrior's family needing help with a car repair due to an accident. The right front tire blew on the car while crossing the railroad tracks and the car careened into the cement piling on the side of the road. When the WW took the vehicle to the local repair shop they pryed the fender back and replaced the damaged tire and made the necessary repairs to the severed brake line and returned the car to the soldier, agreeing to wait while the soldier could arrange for payment. As we made contact with the repair shop and looked at the remaining repairs for the fender and headlight assembly that still needed to be done to make the care driveable and able to pass state inspection, we found another repair shop willing to find the materials necessary at their wholesale cost. When we indicated "cosmetic" repairs were out of the question, the owner of the shop said, "we've probably got paint we can use to get it close to their color for now. In a few days the vehicle should be fixed and the WW will have their only family vehicle back on the road. All by making partnerships and relationships with caring individuals and businesses in our community. Would you have a service you can share to help us help those who keep us free? Visit our website at www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads and let us know how you can help! You'll be glad you did.

How Bad it Can Be...

How many times have you gotten up and at some point in the day thought, it can't get any worse? We've all felt that way. Usually, our day gets better and we often think about other things and become re-engaged with our lives and our family.

Some of our military members and their families, and many times veterans who are already out of service, find themselves thinking "can it get any worse?" Usually it's when a member of the family is deployed, the car breaks down, the hot water heater breaks, the dental bill for Suzy's braces comes in or the family finds that someone in the family needs new glasses. These are challenges we all have but for our military families, many of these crises are faced with either the husband or wife deployed and the family left behind must fix what needs to be fixed or support what needs to be paid with a higher level of anxiety because they are making the decisions and making the changes on their own.

A veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom came to me last week and after the normal hugs and "how are you's", we sat and chatted to catch us each up on the other's life. Our veteran told me about being released from the transitional housing program at the local VA Hospital and that he is in a small apartment with a job at the local university. He's doing food service and catering right now and hopes his job won't disappear if the economy continues to be a challenge. He walks the 15 blocks to and from work and said as soon as he's saved enough money for a car, he hope to be able to drive again. You see, he lost his car when he became homeless less than a year ago and had to sell the car to eat. Finding a space in the transitional housing program was a great help and now that he is out, he has a job, a renewed look at life and waits to receive a call from the national donor registry since he's on dialysis due to a shrapnel injury in Irag which left him with 2 damaged kidney's. He's eating as well as he can since the VA pulled his teeth and he's waiting on his dentures. But, he claims all in all, eventhough he has some bad nights with his PTSD and he often awakes finding himself sleeping in his closet for safety, life is good.

Our veterans serve in silence and ask for very little in return. In fact, when they are in trouble, they are often too proud to admit it and therefore, by the time they ask for the help they need and deserve, they are many times in over their heads. Operation Homefront Hampton Roads help military families and wounded warriors who need help and you can help too. Although our Veteran is out of service and we are unable to assist directly, you can help by helping us find a donated car. This will help him stay employed if his job is lost over the summer due to decreased food service needs at the college. Please contact Operation Homefront Hampton Roads if you'd like to hear more about how YOU can make a difference for a military family or wounded warrior in need. www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads

Just another day in the life...

Helen hadn't thought about what saving on her bills might cost her until she reduced her coverage on the auto insurance and had an accident in the last winter snow. An accident which left her driver side door and hood jammed shut made it virtually impossible to get the car started when the battery went dead. Deployed on the ship until late summer, Helen's husband wasn't there to help. Getting the car towed to a repair shop and determining what could be done to get the car back on the road was easy since Helen had maintained their AAA benefits. But, where would the money come from to facilitate the repairs? Reducing the coverage meant the accident wasn't covered. Helen had already exhausted all her options for financial assistance. When the estimate to get the car safe and back on the road was under $500, Operation Homefront Hampton Roads was there to help. No rush though because Helen was facing knee surgery and had some time before she'd be back behind the wheel. But, the peace of that the car would be ready and waiting when she needed it was all she needed to know. Operation Homefront helps families like this who have a crisis and no where else to turn. Would you like to help families like Helen? Visit our website at www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads . You can help!

Help Out a Hampton Roads Navy Family

Are you looking for something to do in some of your spare time as the weather begins to break towards the spring? How about lending your expertise and time to assist a local Navy family here in Hampton Roads? The Smith family is rebuilding their home in the Hickory area of Chesapeake and will be needing volunteers to do many skilled and unskilled tasks. The family lost their home over a year ago to "toxic" mold. The time has come to rebuild and they need help! For more information on how you can assist one of our local military families, please go to www.smitheieio.com and learn how you can help. Also, if you are a contractor or have access to building supplies of any kind, please make contact with the family. Your time and efforts will be greatly appreciated.

To help this and other military families in need, visit www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads and register as a volunteer or service provider here in southern VA.

They’ve been together for 12 years and married for 7 of them. They promised each other to stick together through thick and thin – and right now is the really thin part.

Angelo was in the Guard and was just about to join the Army when his unit was activated. Candy had their second child, who is autistic, while he was overseas. He spent 3 days with his first child before going to boot camp. He spent a tour in Kuwait and then went to Iraq to fight in Operation Iraqi Freedom. That’s where everything changed and the “thin” began.

Angelo sustained severe injuries – his HumV overturned in a canal when it was attacked. He suffered a cracked skull (which resulted in brain surgery), several fractured vertebrae (which resulted in back surgery that left him paralyzed for 8 months), and an infection in his spinal cord – not to mention his PTSD. He was placed on medical hold.

For a while, he worked as a recruiter, fighting the medical discharge he was offered. You see, Angelo had always been a hard worker – always provided for his wife and children, but his injuries were such that he just couldn’t do it.

As of now, Angelo, Candy, Angelo, Jr., and Christopher are surviving on 70% disability. For a long time, he was receiving 40%. Then the Guard told him they had overpaid him by $18,000 and they needed it back – now.

They are appealing, but there’s another part to this story. Angelo and Candy are expecting their third (and last) child. Candy is due in March and they had bills galore, no car, no living room furniture and not a single thing for the new baby coming and no way to get it.

Candy’s Mother spent her savings to get them a car and they VA got them a sofa. The VA referred the family to Operation Homefront Hampton Roads. The first priority was to bring the Bencivenga family current with some of their outstanding bills and since that original referral, Operation Homefront Hampton Roads has been able to provide Angelo, Candy and the kids a gift card for groceries, and tons of items for the baby – crib, car seat, clothing, toys, furniture for the kids room and more. Each visit to drop off more items elicits excited cries from the kids and parents alike.

Things aren’t quite as “thin” as they were, but they are a long way from “thick”. Angelo is excited to be able to spend time with his newborn son when he arrives. Candy will go back to work as soon as possible.

When they were asked what the help Operation Homefront Hampton Roads has given them has meant, Angelo replied, “You saved us. You saved us worry. You saved us money we didn’t have. You saved us”.

YOU CAN HELP this and other military families like them. Please contact Operation Homefront Hampton Roads at hamptonroads@operationhomefront.net and let us know what you can do to help us help our military families.

What you can give~

Hae you ever thought about "what you can give"? Maybe you have thought "I don't have a lot of money so therefore I can't help a particular organization." But may be misinformed. Organizations like Operation Homefront Hampton Roads survive and support the needs of military families through the generosity of small donations from individuals and corporations who believe in the mission.

Your gift can be as small as a $5 donation by texting PATRIOT for 90999 on your cell phone. It could be the donation of a $25 Food Lion or WalMart gift card. Maybe you have some furnishings or household appliances which still have life and which a family in need might appreciate. Of course, you can also give "The Gift of Comedy". Operation Homefront Hampton Roads is sponsoring "Backing Up The Front" with an evening of comedy on Thursday, February 11th. at Cozzy's Comedy Club in Newport News. For $10 you can either attend the event in support of our military families in need or you can buy a ticket and either give it to a family member/friend or offer it to a military member you know.

What you do can be small but meaningful...It's not what you give but the fact that you give at all.
For more information on how you can help our military families in crisis, please contact Anita Fletcher at 757-806-6150 or by emailing anita.fletcher@operationhomefront.net

Haiti Here We Come

I don't know that anyone thinks about the impact natural disasters have on our military families, particularly families that have just experienced a long deployment of their service member.
When disaster strikes, it's not just the National Guard and the Reserves who respond, many times it's the active duty service members who are called upon to respond immediately and without complaint.

Years ago my husband deployed to FL from Ft. Bragg along with the 82nd ABN Division. He responded to the recovery efforts after Hurricane Andrew. The devastation he saw was mind boggling. He was able to stand in various places on the hurricane ravaged site of what had been Homestead AFB and see not a structure left standing. He went where duty called and as a family we remained behind. The day after he left, my daughters and I were caught in a flash flood. The Aerostar van hit a sheet of oncoming water, the car went into a 180 degree spin, struck the curb and rolled once before it came to a stop. I was lucky...although the car was not driveable, we had the means to get the car repaired. What about those military families who have a vehicle breakdown, a household expense, a devastating and unexpected event which taps their financial resources? What do these families do when the service member who is deployed is the one to navigate the repairs, address the expense or work through their financial situation to find relief.

Our military respond quickly, quietly and without the thought of their own safety or the loss to their family as they deploy. These men and women are our national First Responders and when they deploy for disasters as well as to overseas theatres of operations, families are left behind to fend for themselves. The service member leaves a gap in the family that often goes unfilled for the length of the deployment.

2 weeks ago over 8000 soldiers, sailors and Marines left Hampton Roads to respond to the earthquake in Haiti...although we can't compare the loss to a family when their service member deploys to the unimaginable loss in a major natural disaster such as this, just think would you be fully prepared for every financial crisis, every major repair, every devastating event that may befall your family if your spouse were to be gone for extended periods of time. Would you hope to have resources at your disposal that could help you get through the rough times...resources that you didn't have to "fight for" or "pay back". Resources that were provided to you because what your service member spouse does is Serve Our Country Proudly and without complaint!

I believing in supporting our freedom...supporting those who ensure our freedom and as these service members have our backs, we at Operation Homefront are committed to have theirs.

How to Help Effectively

As a compassionate nation of individuals wanting to help others in distress or need we often provide support early on and onngoing in times of a disaster. Over the past week I have seen passionate pleas for support to Haiti after the recent earthquake. One plea which causes great concern is the one to "send stuff" as soon as possible. After 6 years having responsibility for the coordinated local response by Red Cross in my community I can tell you DON'T SEND STUFF! In times of disaster when goods are sent which are not effectively coordinated in the relief efforts, these items are often cast aside or become damaged or lost because they are unsolicited and therefore cannot be disseminated to those who may need them.

I know we think well, if someone has lost everything, if I send them my used shoes or clothes at least they will have something. People who have experienced a life changing event such as an earthquake where they lose family, friends and their homes or businesses certainly should be thankful for everything they receive and they are. But, what we send and how we help can be productive or non-productive to the recovery efforts.

If you want to make the biggest difference you can, search for the list of charitable organizations providing relief in Haiti. Foremost in my mind is The Red Cross. Make contact with this or another charitable organization and ASK what is needed? In most cases the answer is CASH donations. The inkind donations will come primarily from the corporate contributions solicited by the relief agencies involved in the response. The inkind donations will then most likely be NEW and fully serviceable. Your cash donations can do a lot more than your STUFF. A cash donation allows the response and recovery agencies to purchase exactly what is needed in the size and quantity. It also purchases NEW items which are applicable and durable. Finally, your cash donation helps to stimulate the local economy which has been devastated by the disaster. If a particular item required by the relief effort is available in the area of the disaster, relief organizations will purchase locally to assist in support for the already devastated local economy. These donated dollars can help to get that community back on it's feet again.

So, before you make a donation to Haiti, or donation to any charitable cause, please think before you donate. Call and ask what is needed and how you can best help before you donate. That equates to your daily donations to local or national charities as well. If you want to make the greatest impact for a charitable cause which is near and dear to your heart, please consider one of these options...call the charity and ask how you can make the greatest impact for the cause or make a cash contribution which can be used to purchase what is specifically needed. The donation of a washer and dryer which may only need a thermostat or belt to work is fine but when an organization has to pay to have a donation be usable for the clients you're not doing the organization a service. You are in fact reducing their ability to help others because they are serving donations not clients. In the case of Haiti, donors who send their unsolicited shoes, clothing or food supplies should not be horrified if new reports at a later date that stockpiles of donations are being bulldozed into a landfill in Haiti because they could not be distributed, were too many to handle or were destroyed or damaged before they could be given to the families in need.

Operation Homefront Hampton Roads military families are seeing their service members deploy in response to the Earthquake in Haiti. Although the disaster in Haiti means your support is needed there, these families here on the homefront continue to need your help as well. As they see their service members deploy to Haiti for the relief efforts or to Iraq and Afghanistan, or to other locations around the world, please remember to support their needs and the needs of our wounded warriors returning home. Please visit www.operationhomefront.net/hamptonroads to see how you can help.

Greeting the New Year

How many of us take the time to make our New Year's Resolutions and then don't follow through with them? I'm guilty and I guess we all have heard the phrase "the road to Hell is paved with Good intentions". Well, that's not to say we're all going to Hell but our Good Intentions are not always something we commit to and then follow through on in our day to day lives.

For this New Years I've makde the resolution to take the time out of each day for "one random act of kindness". It doesn't take all that much to tailor a small portion of our day to commit one such act that may brighten the day of another.

It could be letting someone behind you in the grocery line go ahead if they have less items. What about paying the toll for the car behind you (well, not if it's on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel). Maybe the random act is letting someone pass you on the road if they seem to be in a hurry. Maybe it's donating an item you no longer need to a local charity or taking the time to drop note of thanks to someone who has helped you recently when you needed an assist.

It's not "what you do" as much as "the fact that you are willing to do something for someone."
Operation Homefront Hampton Roads has partnered with Giggle Ball Greetings to make that efforts to say something special to someone in your life...maybe a family member or a friend. It's that random act of kindness to say Thanks or Take Care which can mean a lot to someone who has a need and could use a helping hand. www.giggleball.com

At Operation Homefront Hampton Roads, our job is to give that helping hand to our troops and their families when times are tough. When their resources haven't gone far enough or the deployment of the husband, wife or Daddy is taking it's toll on the family. One random act of kindness you can always give is to "Just Say Thanks" to a member of our military in uniform. Say "Thanks for Securing Our Freedom". That one random act of kindness will mean more than you can know. Try it! I'm sure you'll like how it makes you feel!